The Mummers Song
Don't seem like Christmas if the Mummers aren't here
Granny would say as she'd sit in her chair
Things have gone modern, I 'spose that's the cause
Christmas is not like it was
(knock, knock, knock) Any Mummers 'lowed in?
Hark what's the noise, out by the porch door
Granny 'tis mummers theres 20 or more
Her old weathered face lightens up with a grin
Any Mummers nice Mummers 'lowed in?
Come in lovely Mummers don't bother the snow
We can wipe up the water sure after you go
Sit if you can or on some Mummer's knee
Lets see of we know who ya be
There's big ones 'n tall ones 'n small ones 'n thin
Boys dressed as women and girls dressed as men
Humps on their backs an mitts on their feet
My blessed we'll die with the heat
There's only one there I think that I know
That tall feller standing o'er long side the stove
He's shakin' his fist for to make me not tell
Must be Billy from out on the hill
Now that one's a stranger if there ever was one.
With his underwear stuffed and his trap door undone.
Is he wearin' his mother's big 42 bra.?
I knows but I'm not gonna say.
Don't 'spose you fine Mummers will turn down a drop
No home brew, nor alchy whatever you got
Now the one with his rubber boots on the wrong feet
He's had enough for to do him a week
'Spose you can dance, yes they all nods their heads
They've been tappin' their feet ever since they came in
Now that the drinks have been all passed around
The Mummers are plankin' her down
Hold on to the lamp and be careful the stove
Don't swing Granny hard for you know that she's old
No need for to care how you buckles the floor
'Cause Mummers have danced here before
My God how hot is it, we better go
I 'low we'll all get the devil's own cold
Good night and good Christmas, Mummers me dears
Please god we will see you next year.